Skating with the Stars

No one ever exceeds their wildest expectations unless they first begin with wild expectations.
-Source Unknown

by Lauri Khodabandehloo

"Mom, I want to skate with the Stars!” she announced as we walked out into the night to look for the car in the huge parking lot near the Rose Garden Arena in Portland, Oregon. My daughter, Farema, and I had been invited to ride up with her friend Rachel and her mother to watch the incredible Stars On Ice show. I'd seen the advertisement on TV. It would feature a full cast of famous figure-skating stars, including none other than Olympic Gold Medal Champion, Scott Hamilton. For Farema, he was the greatest skater in the world. And she was only one of countless others who felt the same.

I had been elated when Rachel's mother called me one morning and said she had planned to purchase tickets for herself and her daughter to see the production coming soon to Portland, a two- hour drive from our city of Eugene, Oregon. She offered to get two more for us if we wanted to join them to see the show. Farema and Rachel had met as students in the beginner's class at our local skating rink, and Rachel's kindness toward my daughter had won both our hearts. Farema was always overjoyed to find a friend, and for me, a friend of Farema's was a glorious blessing.

Farema had been diagnosed with autism. At the age of sixteen, friends had become scarce. The differences between her and her peers had become more and more obvious , and she was often a lonely little girl, save for a mother who devoted a great deal of time looking for solitary games and sports for her child to take the place of companions. The group lessons at the city skating rink had been a Godsend. And now, to add to my gratitude, we would go with her friend to see, in person, her beloved figure-skating favorites.

The program had been everything and more than I'd imagined. Farema had never seen anything so spectacular, and afterwards, out in the starry night as we talked about the particular high spots--Scott Hamilton doing a back flip on the ice, along with all the other fabulous performances from the skating world's very best - Farema's eyes were wide with pure excitement. "Mom", she said again, "how can I do that? Skate with the Stars?" I looked down at a face of innocent curiosity and wondered how I was to answer so hopeful a question.

A child with autism wa is not expected to reach normal levels of achievement. When my daughter had been diagnosed with autism, I'd felt my heart fall. Farema had three older sisters, all of whom had been raised with the surety that "You can do anything you want to!" I'd always had more than enough optimism for the entire family. "With God's help and hard work, you can do whatever you really dream of!" I always said. My prayers had never ceased for any of my daughters, and for my youngest, I prayed more than ever. Now I wished I'd curbed my enthusiasm just a little whenre it came to high expectations for Farema.

"Well, honey," I said back to her as we walked, "you have to keep practicing!" I felt the lump in my throat try to block my words of encouragement. "Remember, you have to work hard on the ice and listen to your coach. One day, if you do that, maybe you can try out for some kind of ice production!" My answer was enough for her. A person with autism is often one with child-like trust, at any age. This daughter of mine never questioned my words of confidence.

The moment had been bittersweet for me. I silently prayed on the trip back down the freeway to home, that God would give this daughter a "life" that would fulfill her dreams.

By the time Farema and Rachel had finished high school, ice-skating had become Farema's daily routine. She'd signed up for private lessons with a wonderful coach who shared my optimism for her student's future. And I prayed.

Cindy, Farema's coach, had required her to work hard like all her other students. She'd seen potential I'd not believed possible. Before long, my daughter was flying across the ice, and doing jumps and turns that amazed many who worked and practiced at the rink. Then one day, the impossible - the unimaginable - happened.

With the perseverance of her coach and now good friend, Farema was invited to a gathering of the world's most famous figure skaters. And better yet, she would perform for them. Before long, my autistic, uncommon young daughter was working as hard as any seasoned performer to get her program down perfectly.

The moment had finally come. "Okay, Farema," Cindy said, "you are going on in a few minutes. Go out there and warm up." I stood at the wall of the huge rink with my video camera aimed at a beautiful young lady in a red velvet skating dress, filming her as she circled the rink like a pro. She didn't seem the least bit nervous, though I was lucky to hold my ground as I marveled at the audience standing around the perimeter of the ice, watching one little girl prepare to show them what she could do.

Then I heard him say, "Let's all watch now, We are going to see a performance!" I would have recognized Scott Hamilton's voice anywhere. And now, he stood with the others who shared his fame in the skating realm, watching my usually shy, often peculiar, little girl with autism as she performed with all her heart. Her Lutz Jump was perfect. Her Camel Spin was the best ever. But the highlight was the precision of her footwork, a favorite of Scott Hamilton. Later, Scott told Cindy he was impressed. Then he stood with his arm around Farema while pictures were taken, and talked to her as if she too were a longtime friend.

Farema's dreams came true on that day. Precious memories were created that would last a lifetime. My daughter had surpassed all expectations, and with determination and an abundance of faith, she'd lived her heart's desire - and skated with the Stars.

Lauri Khodabandehloo just completed her book, Sunshine In My Soul, about the trials and heartache, joys and blessings of raising a child with autism. She has a passion for speaking on autism and God's grace, and is a member of SAIL Housing, a parent-driven organization that supports independent living for those with developmental disabilities. She can be reached at laurikhoda@comcast.net. Her profile.