And Then...

by Kimberly Jensen

Just when we thought everything was going so well... and then... .boom it hits us just when we least expected it and at the worst possible time.

My husband and I were on our way to our pediatrician's office with our son Bennett for his yearly medication review and physical. As we sat in the car, looking out the window at the freshly fallen snow, we smiled and commented on how calm things had been and how well Bennett was doing.

Once we arrived at the hospital, we sat in the doctor's office and smiled and nodded and told him how well things were going and that we didn't have any major concerns, or even minor concerns. We bragged about how well our son was doing in school and at his scout troop and how he had ridden his bike 26 miles in the fall and learned to ski in deep powder. Our only minor concern was Bennett's diet which consists of spaghetti and cereal. He told us not to worry and that our son was in a normal weight range for his age and he was getting the nutrients he needed. We left the office that day, holding our son's hands in between us as we nearly skipped back to the car. Life was good.

And then ... ..it happened. Less than one week later we started seeing a change in Bennett. He became agitated, anxious and downright mean. He began yelling at his father and hitting his brother and saying "NO!" to everything we said,

"No fire, no ghost, no hot, no tornado, no head, no shoe, no ice, no, no, no" He would repeat his "no" list several times an hour and yell it at the top as his lungs. He seemed to take on a whole new personality that we had never seen before and we weren't comfortable with this new side of Bennett. The mean Bennett.

And then... .his behavior continued and we started to panic as we loaded the suitcases in the car and headed to the airport for a family vacation in Florida. Bennett was out of sorts and we were worried about what impact this would have on his two siblings and the vacation itself. In the car, we started evaluating his behavior and discussing his prescription of Adderrall. With the last refill we had gone to a different pharmacy than we had gone to in the past. The pills were smaller and bluer but said the same thing on the pill bottle. We called his pharmacist and his doctor and they said that "they" had been assured that switching from one generic to another would not make any difference, but that parents had told them otherwise.

And then... we decided there was nothing we could really do until we got back and had him re-evaluated. Bennett continued to yell "no" and be agitated by his sister, brother, father and mother.

And then... we got to the hotel and immediately put on our swimming suits and ran down to the pool. We spent the next six days in sunny Florida, swimming in the hotel pool and bumming around on the beach. Bennett seemed to like his new surroundings, the sunshine and the surf. He didn't seem so agitated, annoyed or anxious. He would stand in the sand and watch the waves cover his feet for a good 30 minutes or more, without moving. He was mesmerized.

And then... we would go out to dinner everynight and the behavior would return. The yelling, the anxiety the big list of "nos!"

And then... the next day we would swim some more and the water seemed to physically wash away his anxieties and his tension.

And then... back out to dinner for another 90 minutes of yelling and annoyance by Bennett and threats by us.

And then... back to the hotel for a little swimming therapy and a bowl of cereal.

We finished our vacation and came home and began the process of re-evaluating his medication. We're still in the process and wonder if it's just a time in his life where changes are taking place, physically, emotionally and mentally, or if we just needed a new challenge in our life because things were just getting to comfortable. Either way, my husband and I can joke about how things are going so well... and then. So watch out for the "and then...." because it is guaranteed to happen just when you least expect in and at the worst possible moment.

But then, that's life with autism and we are thankful we get to experience the "and then... " moments because they make us stronger, more aware and more thankful for the little things like sunshine, water, sand and a bowl of cereal.

Kimberly Jensen was born and raised in Sandy, Utah and graduated from the University of Utah in 1991 with a B.S. in Communication. She worked as a radio news anchor for KBOI/KQFC and as a public relations specialist for the Idaho Transportation Department in Boise, Idaho. Kimberly and her family moved to Battle Ground, Washington in 2001 where she became a full time mom and writer. Her first children's book, Always the Elf by Cedar Fort Publishing came out in Fall 2007. Two of her stories have been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Children With Special Needs. She is an avid cyclist and loves spending time with her family and taking them on outdoor adventures. She now lives in Utah with her husband Mark, her three children; Tasia, Clayton and Bennett and her two dogs Simba and Ruby.