One Special Grandma

by Kimberly Jensen

My mom was the second person I called when I learned my son Bennett was autistic, second only to my husband. She picked up the phone and I couldn't speak, only sob as I tried to get the words out.

"They think Bennett is autistic," I finally said through my sobs.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry," she said as I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders even though she was over 900 miles and two states away.

"What do I do?" I asked in desperation and confusion.

"You be his mom. You love him," she said very matter of factly, and then she recommended the only book she could think of that dealt with autism.

I spent hours researching autism and for several months was in denial that my son had it. My mom, however, never doubted it.

"I thought something was off," she said later after we received the official diagnosis from a pediatrician who specialized in development disabilities.

Only my mom could be so honest with me and get away with it. She had worked as a school teacher for nearly 15 years and had students with all sorts of disabilities enter her classroom. She worked with them, made modifications and included them. So when she learned that she had an autistic grandson, she was prepared and ready to teach me.

Her lessons didn't come from a textbook or from google or from any special education curriculum, they came from her natural ability to love every child unconditionally.

She got on the floor with him and played his game. She never had an agenda. She never tried to make him do something he didn't want to do. She indulged his obsession with dinosaurs and let him drag furniture all over the house and eat cereal in front of the television. She was grandma, plain and simple.

Today, seven years later, he still drags furniture all over her house, eats cereal in front of her television and chases her cats under the bed. But each time we arrive at her front door, she welcomes us with warm hugs and kisses and begs us to stay for dinner.

So when it came to me raising my son, I followed my mom's example and indulged his obsessions with dinosaurs, stayed off of google and loved him and his unique, funny and quirky behavior.

I also learned that forcing a child with autism to do something they don't want to do can turn out frustrating and tearful. I've learned a lot of patience over the years, a lot of waiting and I have learned to modify just about everything. I celebrate his uniqueness and work on his time table, not mine. I've let go of control and let him direct me. It's amazing to see where he takes me. It's a new adventure each and everyday.

Just recently my mom asked, "If you could change Bennett and make him normal, would you?"

I thought for a moment and answered, "Only if he wanted to change but otherwise, no."

My mom smiled and said, "I wouldn't either," as she watched him run around the living room with a broom between his legs, wearing a witch's hat and chasing the cat.

Kimberly Jensen was born and raised in Sandy, Utah and graduated from the University of Utah in 1991 with a B.S. in Communication. She worked as a radio news anchor for KBOI/KQFC and as a public relations specialist for the Idaho Transportation Department in Boise, Idaho. Kimberly and her family moved to Battle Ground, Washington in 2001 where she became a full time mom and writer. Her first children's book, Always the Elf by Cedar Fort Publishing came out in Fall 2007. Two of her stories have been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Children With Special Needs. She is an avid cyclist and loves spending time with her family and taking them on outdoor adventures. She now lives in Utah with her husband Mark, her three children; Tasia, Clayton and Bennett and her two dogs Simba and Ruby.