Shining, Teachable Moments!

by Jennifer Graham

I had one of those moments last week when my son's ability and character was shining! So shiny, in fact, that I think he made one little corner of the world a kinder place. Have you had one of those moments recently?

Mark works in the dining room of an assisted living facility two afternoons a week. As he was walking in the front door to clock in, a resident using a big electric wheelchair was struggling to get over the door jamb so she could sit on the front porch on a glorious fall day. I wondered what Mark would do, just hoping he'd be polite enough to step aside to let her through before he entered.

He did so much more. First, he spoke to her. (I couldn't hear their conversation since I was sitting in the car spying!) They both smiled, and then he stepped behind her and pushed the electric chair over the threshold. He must have asked where she wanted to sit because when she pointed to the right, he helped her get to the spot she'd selected. A few more words, smiles and then a wave good-bye before he went inside to work.

Not only was I proud, I was so touched by the respect he showed her! He did not just assume she needed help. He greeted her first and asked if he could help. He put her at ease by continuing to talk while they found a comfortable spot on the porch for her.

And I was so grateful for her smiles and respect! Sometimes Mark is not respected by the residents. They assume that because he has Down syndrome he doesn't understand what they would say to him. Often, they either won't speak directly to him, or they speak past him, asking another dining-room aide for more coffee or tea.

I glanced at the other residents already sitting on the porch. One man was watching them carefully and he, too, smiled at Mark. Then, the gentleman nodded and waved at me. I hope he was saying, "That's a fine young man!"

I hope these residents remember those moments on the porch and tell their friends about Mark's respectful kindness. It would be a wonderful gift from them to him to talk about how the young man with Down syndrome was so polite and helpful.

When our kids were little, we treasured "teachable moments" when they learned something new. It seems that we parents of children with disabilities are blessed with wondrous "teachable moments" that our kids unknowingly give to us and to friends and strangers through their genuine acts of kindness- moments when they teach the world so much about ability. Moments like these change prejudice and disregard to new-found acceptance and respect. There's no better lesson than that!

Jennifer M. Graham, mother of four unique kids, has written about the inspiring abilities of individuals with intellectual disabilities for twenty years. Her articles have appeared in national and regional magazines, and the anthology, You Will Dream New Dreams. She is the founder of onTRACK Transition Advisors and coaches parents and professionals on navigating the transition maze from special education to adult life in the community. Contact her at jenniferg@soulsupporter.com.